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ChessChick's
Guide To Girl Stuff
It's In The Bag!
Right now I'm again engaged
in the familiar Hunt For The Perfect Purse. It's not that I don't
have a purse, it's just that it's too big or too small or the
wrong color or it doesn't have features I've decided that I need.
This happens every 6-12 months like clockwork. Typically I want
something fairly small which will nevertheless hold all my
worldly possessions and be lightweight no matter how much I stuff
into it. I look longingly at enormous amorphous bags but
unfortunately they never have enough pockets so I turn back to
consider purses of more reasonable proportions.
When I was a kid watching
Disney's Mary Poppins the scene that stuck in my head
was when she unpacked that marvelous carpetbag. It held all her
possessions-- from garments to a hatrack! What I really want is a
bag like that!
Seeing Mary Poppins with her
marvelous bag, young and impressionable girls decide that not
only do they want to fly, but they want to be able to pack their
entire life into a modest-sized bag. (Hence, the Hunt For The
Perfect Purse.) We typically carry around purses, backpacks or
ultra-modern hybrids with enough stuff to see us through every
conceivable situation. Even a chess tournament.
To see me pack for a typical
tournament, you'd think I was going to a foreign country. (I've
been to wilderness areas with more amenities than some venues.)
An equipment bag can't hold much more than equipment and a
typical purse can't hold board, set, and clock. A knapsack or
tote bag is much better (unless you find one of those huge
amorphous purses with lots of pockets).
"Could you hold this
for a sec?
"Sheesh! What've you
got in here---bricks???"
A well-packed bag that can't
stagger a healthy adult male or bring him to his knees is not a
well-packed bag.
The same guy who shakes his
head over all the "junk" girls carry will be the same
guy begging you for aspirin, bandaids, crackers, or mercy later
in the tournament. Among the things I carry with me are: sweater,
aspirin, bandaids, thermos, snack crackers and extra pens.
It's a sad fact, but a guy
who will spend hours studying and preparing for a tournament
won't take half a minute to drop aspirin into his equipment bag.
He'll ask a woman because we traditionally carry purses which
means we can be counted on to supply everything from medicine to
spare shoelaces. He finds it both wonderful and hilarious that
we're well-prepared! (What would he do if we weren't ??)
He can see four moves ahead, but he can't see that his equipment
bag is basically just a big purse! Granted, it won't
hold a sweater and thermos, but aspirin, bandaids, a small snack
and some extra pens, yes.
Let's face it...It's normal
for women to carry this stuff; it's not normal for guys to carry
it. There are guys who carry--in their four-wheel-drive
vehicle--everything they'd need to survive a nuclear blast and
live in a post-apocalyptic world for ten years. They are survivalists:
they are not mainstream. On the other hand, a woman
typically carries the same stuff in her purse every day and we
(and our purses) are part of mainstream society. Hence
we get hit up for aspirin at tournaments. When things on the
chessboard go BOOM, it's us
chess chicks who have the survival gear.
I've watched guys turning
blue and trying to curl into a ball in their chair to preserve
body heat while this chess chick pulls on her sweater and
snuggles in for a comfortable game. I've seen guys with desperate
eyes searching the venue for caffeine while I'm curled up with my
thermos. Even if you're not prone to headaches, take aspirin with
you. The guys will need aspirin. They'll generally need to choke
down a couple while analyzing their lost ending with you. If they
chew their cuticle into the quick to emerge "bloodied but
unbowed" they'll need that bandaid, too.
Of course the stuff a good
chess chick hauls to the tournament hall is nothing compared to
the suitcase if it is a hotel tourney. You'll need a
dozen bottles of nail polish
to choose from, a hotpot to make tea
or coffee, a few select reference books you may never crack, and
a mindless trashy novel to read when you get back to your room
after a late round and are too keyed up to sleep. Boom box and
walkman optional.
A word about food: pack
snacks. The hotel restaurant may be closed after a late round and
you may be too tired to go out and forage or too broke for room
service. Also there are the times when you don't have enough time
to go eat between rounds. A guy may "tough it out", but
a chess chick never misses a meal! I've beaten dazed guys (rated
higher than I am) who missed lunch and had no snack tucked into
their bags. The brain needs fuel, so don't forget to pack some.
The bag you take to a
tournament should hold not only your equipment, but all the
necessities of life, whatever you deem necessary for you to be
happy and comfortable throughout the tournament. Your comfort
level, both physical and psychological, affects your play. When
you're relaxed and happy, you're dangerous!
And so my search for The
Perfect Purse continues....
Victory is "in the
bag"!
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